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There Once Was a Man From Nantucket…

True Classics is three years old! (!!!!!!!!) In the blogging racket, three years is an ETERNITY. I raise my bottle of Boone’s Farm to the entire True Classics crew: Brandie, Nikki, Carrie, and Sarah. Thanks for being amazing classic film ambassadors and all-around awesome-y!  To celebrate the occasion, the ladies are hosting a limerick contest! Below are my entries for the event.

 

With vision that’s doubled and blurry
She visits Doc Brent in a hurry
Her prognosis was bleak
She’d die in 12 weeks
He withheld though, to not make her worry

Inspired by Dark Victory (1939)

Why’d Ms. Timberlake stop to think?
She should’ve been in the pink!
Before they retired
Philip desired
To give her That Touch of Mink 

Inspired by That Touch of Mink (1962)

Sheriff Bart took the job no one wanted
The townspeople, their hatred was flaunted
With a tip of his hat
“Where the white women at?”
With his cunning and wit, he taunted

Inspired by Blazing Saddles (1974)

Macaulay was quite a swell guy
He stuttered  uh…uh well… I…
He’s the voice of doom
The drunk in the room
Sipping champagne and rye

Inspired by The Philadelphia Story (1940)

Alicia was loose and unfit
Uncle Sam, for she’d commit
With a tinge of hate
“Alex is my playmate”
Jealous, said Dev, “just skip it.”

Inspired by Notorious (1946)

 

Two “friends” named Randy and Cary
Many women they courted to marry
On the beach in their socks
Shorts tight on their cocks
Of women, claimed Hedda, they’re wary

Inspired by Hollywood tabloid trash and salacious “biographies”
(For the record: I love Hollywood tabloid trash and salacious “biographies”)

 

The man Kelly was known for his class
for women he bowed when he’d pass
When he yelled “Gotta Dance!”
All fell in a trance
Admiring his luscious firm ass

Inspired by Singin’ in the Rain (1952)
(and every other Gene Kelly performance)

 

Related posts:

Jill Blake

Jill Blake is the owner of the classic film website Sittin’ on a Backyard Fence. She is also a co-founder and editor of the film site The Black Maria and film editor at CC2K. In 2012, she was interviewed on-air by Turner Classic Movies host Ben Mankiewicz. In 2013, she was a featured guest on the TCM podcast. In her spare time Jill is a stay-at-home mom, wife, fried okra connoisseur, and the neighborhood’s own L.B. Jeffries.

Comments

Angela
Reply

OMG, I am dying at the Gene Kelly one! And the Cary Grant/Randolph Scott one! These are all amazing.

Aurora
Reply

UM…I am fairly impressed!!! Sheesh! I’m glad I didn’t even attempt to do an entry. My goodness, Jill.

Aurora

ClassicBecky
Reply

I liked them all, but I’m with Angela — the last two are hilarious, and I especially liked the Gene Kelly one!

Backlots
Reply

OMG THE GENE KELLY ONE. Only what I think every time I see Gene’s mighty fine behind onscreen. Nice job!!

silverscreenings
Reply

I must say, I am disappointed Cary Grant would wear white socks with his swim trunks.

Brandie
Reply

First of all, I love you. Second, I am beyond impressed with your poetical skill. Third, I love you. Thank you for helping us celebrate our anniversary in style and for being such a supportive blog buddy. Mwah!

Raquel
Reply

These Limericks are great but I love this line the most: “(For the record: I love Hollywood tabloid trash and salacious “biographies”)” ::fist pump:: YEAH!

Page
Reply

My vote goes to Cary Grant. (Gee, that wasn’t obvious for me at all!) ha ha
Love these pics.
Page

The Gal Herself
Reply

Oh, how I enjoyed these! Especially the last two. Certainly the photo of Cary Grant running in his socks is memorable/delectable, and your tip of the hat to the “Gene Kelly’s ass as internet phenomenon” made me smile.

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